Fatherhood: there are few other states in which a heterosexual male will boast about getting urinated on by another male. An underage male at that. And in the bathtub. With his wife watching. No photos, tant pis (pronounce as you will).

Summer has sprung and the lawnmowers are emerging from the snow. Or so I imagine. We don’t have crack addicts or derelicts in our neighborhood so it is up to our supple imaginations to manufacture their lives and what they are like. I’m pretty sure that they don’t bother to keep their lawnmowers inside, however. Nor do they follow behind their dogs with little plastic bags over their hands, waiting to scoop up the piles of steaming shit from the sidewalk. That’s why life in the slums isn’t so very nice. I guess. Not being a dog owner, I don’t really care about this issue, but if I were, I would be phoning the local heeler to get more garbage cans installed. Or maybe it’s a mark of virtue to stroll into Bridgehead, Dachshund under your arm, the smell of his feces wafting up from the bag in your pocket. I don’t know.